AN ATLESIAN PALADIN!
by Face McShooty II
Summary: Beacon receives transfer students every year, and some of them are weird. Especially the ones that have giant robot suits and won't stop yelling about cogs made of steel. Note: I don't condone violence towards Pyrrha in any way. I feel horrible for writing this, and I'll just go cry myself to sleep now.


It wasn't exactly the most exciting of days for teams JNPR and RWBY. Since today was the day teachers were training the new teachers in the art of teaching, they had no lectures or lessons lined up for the day, so as per their normal ritual they went to the library and sat at the tables on the balconies above the computers. Jaune, Nora, Pyrrha, and Ren sat at one table, whilst Ruby, Weiss, Blake, and Yang sat on the other.

All eight students were leaning on said tables, bored out of their minds. Nobody had anything to say for at least an hour, meaning the patient teens all remained still for a whole sixty minutes. Finally, Ruby had an idea for conversation. She sat up. "So," she said awkwardly, turning every head towards her, many with raised brows. "What're your thoughts on those transfer students for the Vytal Tournament?" This was a good question.

"I...do like Sun," Blake admitted. "He's nice, and he was even willing to help in..." She trailed off. Wasn't best to let JNPR know that team RWBY was making off-the-book investigations. "...other matters." Immediately, before anybody could make a snarky comment, Yang had already whipped on a brown fedora and aviator shades, and started playing a tune they all universally recognized as 'Careless Whisper'. Everybody, except Ruby, was smiling for all the wrong reasons as Blake planted her face on the desk with a furious red blush on her face. "Oh Gods, why did I say that in front of you people..."

As Yang continued to somehow flawlessly play the saxophone without anybody, even Ruby, knowing of her apparent knowledge of it, Jaune spoke up. He awkwardly raised a hand. "Ah...well, some of the students seem cool," he said, "And they look like they can handle themselves. Like that guy in our class, 'Mercury'? He looked tough." Pyrrha made her usual chuckle.

"Jaune," she said softly, placing a hand on his shoulder and absorbing all his free will by staring him in the eyes with her own deep, penetrating eye contact, "I know that if you go against him, you have a good chance of victory."

"Th-Thanks, Pyrrha," he smiled. He caught himself staring at her eyes again. He didn't know why, but when he looked at them, the headaches went away.

"None of them seem too tough," Weiss remarked, folding her arms. "Most of the ones I've met are just arrogant, flirtatious, and unusual. I saw one yesterday, he looked to be about twenty, _still tried flirting with me_, and then offered me a bucket of fried chicken and ran away. Or, more specifically, jumped away." She placed her head on the table. "And I'm fairly certain he jumped again in mid-air."

"You'd be surprised at some of the ones I've seen roaming," Ren interjected. "The weapons themselves are what I'm more concerned about. Remember that presentation on the news that General Ironwood showed? The Altesian Paladin suit?" Ruby was interested now, weapons were involved.

"Yeah, I heard about that," she replied.

"Well, I saw a student going around in a customized version, and nobody seemed to care much." Ren continued. Everybody was now listening to the normally quiet boy with great interest. "I might have seen two students with them, I'm not certain, but however many there are, they seem to like shouting phrases."

"Phrases?" Weiss asked. "What kind of phrases?"

"Quotes, I assume. Mostly revolving around cogs made of steel and a species of desert cat that I can't exactly remember the name of." There was silence.

"Strange people." Yang mused. "But _steel cogs_? From your description, they couldn't be being too specific, they must have used a different name..." Pyrrha raised a hand.

"Could it be _Metal Gea_-?"

The doors to the library exploded outwards, shocking everybody on the teams as bookshelves were sent flying and students scattered. People ran for cover as a twelve ton Atlesian Paladin mech charged into the room, mighty feet slamming into the wood as it ran, jumped, and finally landed in front of both teams. Nobody but Yang had their weapons, so they were all basically screwed.

"**METAL GEAR?**" shouted a loud voice with a relatively raspy undertone. Nobody spoke as it slammed its fists down and went not even a few inches from Pyrrha's face. "**WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT METAL GEAR?!**" Of course, Pyrrha's polarity semblance had no chance in hell of moving the giant robot away, so she kind of just stared, unable to move through fear. "**ESTAS BIEN?**" Now it was speaking Foreigner, and Weiss was slightly more terrified of it.

"I-I don't kn-know anything about...M-Metal Gear..." Pyrrha squeaked out, panicking slightly. She was tempted to order her Jaune minion to attack, but deep down, she knew he'd make _fuck all difference._ He was rubbish with a sword anyway, it wouldn't make a whole lot of difference if the feeble idiot tried slapping the robot to death.

Rather than punch her in the face, as everyone expected, the Paladin stood up, walked away a slight difference, then dropped to one knee and put one of its hulking hands to the side of its head, almost like it was speaking over a radio or phone. "**ROSE,**" it yelled. "**WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT METAL GEAR?**" Whilst nobody was expecting an answer (even as the rest of RWBY and JNPR began carefully crawling away and dragging a petrified Pyrrha along behind them), there was, of course, an answer.

"**Snake, I don't know what Metal Gear is,**" an unidentified female voice replied. "**Try pointing your gun at the prisoner to intimidate them into talking. Being threatened by a weapon is the best way to interrogate a person by coercing them into speaking.**" The robot nodded.

"**GOT IT, THANKS ROSE.**" Nobody present knew who 'Rose' was, or where the Paladin got a supersized suppressed pistol from, but nobody dared interject as it pointed it at Pyrrha. "**START TALKING.**"

"I-I don't have anything to say!" Pyrrha wailed. This was the first time anybody had seen Pyrrha having a breakdown, and it was over fairly quickly: Without any words of warning, the Paladin reached forward, grabbed the crying girl, then threw her straight out of a window. Yang saw this as the perfect opportunity to pull out an electric guitar and begin screeching about 'Rules of Nature' as everything in the library set fire and exploded, sending everybody running out in terror. As Pyrrha flew half a mile away and landed in a fountain, the Paladin ignored the raging flames and kneeled down again, touching the side of its head again.

"**ROSE, IT'S REALLY HOT ALL OF A SUDDEN!**"

"**You're on **_**fire**_**, Snake. This will lower your Psyche meter and your health, so avoid being set on fire.**"

"**OK, GOT IT.**"

Team NPR and RWBY, meanwhile, were already across the way, helping a trembling Pyrrha out of the fountain and wrapping a towel around her. It was at this point that her clothes completely dropped off her body due to water damages and left her with only a towel. None of the other few hundred students gathered could resist looking and taking photos, so Pyrrha immediately made a heart-wrenchingly adorable whining noise as she trudged back to JNPR's dorm, holding her towel tight to prevent it from falling down.

However, as Ruby was about to say something, there was a loud explosion in the library, with said building engulfed in flames. And through those flames, a voice.

"**Snake? This can't be happening! Snake! SNAKE! SNAAAAAAAAAAAKE!**" Sighing, Weiss, Blake, and Ruby turned to Yang, who currently had a violin out.

"Don't encourage this," they all said flatly. Yang gave a giant, shit-eating grin.

"None of this would have happened if we'd have all been carrying our guns..." The metaphorical camera zoomed on her eyes. "_...of the Patriots._"

"Yang, stop being meta," Ruby immediately said, as the team began to walk back to the dorm to both check on JNPR and feel like they had somewhere to be safe from the threat of robots. Yang shrugged, and tied a digital camouflage bandanna around her head after putting on an eye patch.

Thus, nobody dared speak for the rest of the day, in case they accidentally summoned the Paladin through use of the wrong words.


End file.
